I’ll Have the Testicles. Gluten-free Please.

Hubs was sick today. (I was too but he had Man Flu and I had ordinary flu so he stayed in bed and I wandered around Saigon). This post is not about his testicles. Mostly.

(I may make small mention of how one’s manly testicles completely recede into the body in the event of a life-threatening Man Flu episode).

My Viet adventures today entailed a 51 dollar (1 million Dong) four hour spa treatment at Indochine Spa (steam bath, traditional Vietnamese massage including tiny knees in my spine and toes in all many of other places, bamboo and ginger full body exfoliation, mani & pedi, iced green teas and mango juice, etc.) – if you are ever in Ho Chi Minh City you must visit Indochine.

Utterly, indulgently relaxed I continued my aimless wander and bought a yoga mat for the complete bargain price of one 90 minute yoga lesson back home, bought a coconut to drink for the ripoff price of one whole tree back home (haven’t really got the hang of this money thing clearly, but relishing in the short-lived feelings of being a millionaire), jumped on a cyclo and rode around the city in a thunder and lightning storm (for an hour each afternoon Saigon sings rain like the sky has torn, the sea of bamboo-hatted scooter-riding city dwellers sew up the gaping holes after the hour is up and they are ready to take leave from under the flooded bridges and coconut trees and continue their day).

I became a Buddhist who meditates in a real temple (instead of a Buddhist who meditates without a temple at her weathered fingertips). And today I ate snails and beef testicles (I didn’t realize they were balls until after I sucked them down but the snails were fully consensual. And delicious).

A neighbour of the House of Reunification, Quan An Ngon restaurant sucked me in from the dirty sidewalk, that groans and honks under foot, with the promise of weird and wonderful food and a light spray of cool mist from the fans above.

I passed on the Oc Huong Nuong (grilled winkle) and instead ordered the Oc Buoc Nhoi Thit (snails stuffed with minced pork dipped in ginger fish sauce). Good choice. A quick glance of my Vietnamese GF DF nutrition card told the little lady who was waiting my table that I wouldn’t vomit all over her tip if she served me the snails I’d chosen.


Pho Bo Dac Biet (special beef rice noodle soup with tendons and beef balls) also arrived on my table. I kinda dropped the ball on this one, so to speak. I didn’t realise that beef balls were balls not just balls. Was I disappointed when I found out? Of course not.

Some say that animal testicles work as aphrodisiacs. Did we just come full circle back to hubs and his testicles?


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