Today W and I went for morning tea with some beautiful lady friends. I was again proud and startled at W’s ability to be flexible and adapt to a new environment. My friends hadn’t met her yet, so instead of being overwhelmed W was excited to see a sea of new faces that she could examine with her eyes and the pads of her chubby little fingers (read: fish hooks, hair pulling and eye gauges are her current speciality). We were in a funky cafe, people squished into nooks and crannies as the brick and timber walls soaked up words and smiles flung across tables heavy with coffee and cake.
My friend bundled W up and took her around the cafe and through the courtyard to show her and her floral top knot off. She didn’t grizzle at all. Even though critics of attachment parenting will tell you that attachment babies are dependent, W again proved how our intense love for her and deep connection leads to feelings of safety and confidence when she is out in the world. She knows that if she cries mummy or daddy (or nanny!) comes running to fulfil whatever need she has in that moment (babies cannot manipulate people and touch is one of our basic needs beside food and warmth so holding your baby too much and responding to her noises is not spoiling her!)
Our dedication to her has not lead her to be clingy to us at all. On a lovely side note whenever she is out in her indigenous community with her big mob all she has to do is squeak and her nanny will come running and bundle her up and make her laugh until she feels safe again. All her nanny’s have such a big love for her that my heart sparkles just thinking about how lucky she is.
But after a little while out of reaching distance of my littlest babe my mummy nerves had me glancing around to see where she was. The other mums there nodded in that knowing way, my lion cub had been gone too long. But she came back gurgling away like she’d had the best adventure and happily went into someone else’s eager arms.
“Is she always this placid?” Yes, except when she’s screaming – then she’s a nightmare. “Oh she didn’t get this gentle nature from you!” Ha, thanks! But seriously, she is a really happy healthy bub.
Anyway I’ve gotten wayyyyy off topic from what I intended to write…
W was nappy free. As my friend whisked her away I warned “if she shrieks she may be about to wee on you”. She asked me how I liked motherhood. Favourite thing I’ve ever done. She asked me how Stevie is as a dad. Well I’m doing everything as far from normal as possible and he goes along with everything I do so I’d say…perfect. He is perfect.
Pic: The S Blog
She then talked about her time in China and how all the babies wore split-crotch pants. You would see a mum hold the baby out and let them wee then carry on with their day, holding the baby out would open the pants and allow wee opportunities without struggling with any clothing. Pottying from birth is common, nappies are no where to be seen. But it’s not unusual to see a trickle of wee down a parent’s leg as they walk along – no big deal. A baby’s elimination needs are treated with respect and no ickiness.
It’s just normal.
China mums and dads, you rock socks!